Not For Everyone

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Not for Everyone is a podcast hosted by a hater (Caroline Winkler) and a lover (Jess DeBakey). We're just two sweet kooks getting carried away being ourselves, waxing poetic on every topic we care too much about. Come for the humor, stay for the honesty. We know we’re not for everyone, but we bet we are for you.__Subscribe on Youtube and follow on Instagram: @not4everyonepod

Recent Episodes
  • 118. Not for Blushing Brides + Spooky Stories About Hypnosis & Trauma
    Apr 17, 2025 – 01:12:28
  • 117. Am I the Hater? | Annoying Children, Demanding In-Laws, and Quiet Resentment
    Apr 10, 2025 – 01:25:43
  • 116. Not for Rage Bait + The Real Reason Your Friends Never Take Your Advice
    Apr 3, 2025 – 01:13:31
  • 115. Not for Bodily Horrors + How to Get More From Your Relationships
    Mar 27, 2025 – 01:33:15
  • 114. Not for Therapy Speak + Behind the Scenes of a Hater Engagement (!!!)
    Mar 20, 2025 – 01:24:12
  • 113. Love Letter: How to Forgive and Forget in Friendship + Keeping Dating FUN in Your 30s | ft. My BFF Ekaette Obot
    Mar 13, 2025 – 01:33:08
  • 112. Hater Hour: Overcoming Imposter Syndrome, Leaving Mormonism, and Making Adult Friendships | ft. Prince Abi Our Editor!
    Mar 6, 2025 – 01:37:47
  • 111. Not For Yapping + Navigating Core Differences with Your Partner
    Feb 27, 2025 – 01:23:18
  • 110. Ask A Therapist: Attachment Styles, Manifestation, and Friend Drama | Featuring Carter Umhau
    Feb 20, 2025 – 01:40:43
  • 109. Not for Thanking Beyoncé + The Misogynistic Trap of Relatability
    Feb 13, 2025 – 01:24:15
  • 108. Not for Wicked + Why Rage Quitting Isn’t the Answer
    Feb 6, 2025 – 01:06:23
  • 107. Not For Sharing a Bed + Let's Figure Out WHY You Feel Depleted
    Jan 30, 2025 – 01:18:24
  • 106. Hot Takes Only: TikTok, Corporate Greed, and an Underrated Dating Red Flag
    Jan 23, 2025 – 01:27:20
  • 105. Not for Wife Guys + Blake Lively and the One Thing No One is Talking About
    Jan 16, 2025 – 01:10:40
  • 104. Not For TikTok Dances + Forgetting Your Pain is a Big Mistake
    Jan 9, 2025 – 01:04:55
  • 103. WHATADO: Embracing Where You Are While Pursuing More in 2025
    Jan 2, 2025 – 01:24:02
  • 102. Not for Resentment + How to Believe You Deserve Affection
    Dec 19, 2024 – 01:17:23
  • 101. Interrogating Our Boyfriends | Part TWO
    Dec 12, 2024 – 01:02:53
  • 100. How We Actually Found Love on the Apps | Featuring Our Boyfriends
    Dec 5, 2024 – 01:33:27
  • 99. Not For Pity Invites + Mini Adventures as Self Care
    Nov 21, 2024 – 01:19:23
  • 98. For You: Saying No.
    Nov 14, 2024 – 01:23:19
  • 97. Not for the Silent Treatment + The Ups and Downs of Being Podcast Partners
    Nov 7, 2024 – 01:04:47
  • 96. Not for Pumpkins + Letting People Who Hurt You Back Into Your Life
    Oct 31, 2024 – 01:20:26
  • 95. Not for Difficult Personalities + Applying Our Own Advice on Boundaries
    Oct 24, 2024 – 01:22:38
  • 94. Love Letter: Getting Honest With Yourself, Compromising on Kids, and Ranking Potatoes
    Oct 17, 2024 – 00:52:03
  • 93. Not for Fireworks + What to Say to Your Friend in a Toxic Relationship
    Oct 10, 2024 – 01:10:28
  • 92. Not for Goodbyes + How to Start Owning Your Unique Strengths
    Oct 3, 2024 – 01:05:01
  • 91. WHATADO: Workplace Woes + Corporate Chaos
    Sep 26, 2024 – 00:57:54
  • 90. Not For Abandoning Yourself + Mastering Emotional Boundaries
    Sep 19, 2024 – 01:20:53
  • 89. Hater Hour: Is “Passion” Worth the Hype? - How to Build a Career You Love
    Sep 12, 2024 – 01:08:20
  • 88. Not for Internet Sleuthing + “Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater”
    Sep 5, 2024 – 01:16:25
  • 87. Not for Living in Fear + How to Have That Difficult Conversation
    Aug 29, 2024 – 01:18:41
  • 86. Hot Takes Only: Finding Yourself Post Breakup, When to Indulge, and Brat Summer
    Aug 22, 2024 – 01:10:50
  • 85. Not For Giving Up on People + Why You Should Cry More
    Aug 15, 2024 – 01:20:44
  • 84. Not for Flirty Husbands + The Best Part About Asking for Help
    Aug 8, 2024 – 01:18:31
  • 83. Love Letter: Mindset Shifts for Friends and Flings + “If He Wanted to, He Would”
    Aug 1, 2024 – 01:04:38
  • 82. For You: The Body Image Talk You Needed a Long Time Ago
    Jul 18, 2024 – 01:20:45
  • 81. Not for Meet Cutes + How "Sex and the City" Lied to Us
    Jul 11, 2024 – 01:13:33
  • 80. Not for Eye Contact + Stop Chasing the First Date Spark
    Jul 4, 2024 – 01:06:22
  • 79. Hater Hour: Deep Friendship Betrayal, Manipulative People, and Getting Closure
    Jun 27, 2024 – 01:16:52
  • 78. Not for Empaths + The Bizarre Stigma Around Couples Therapy
    Jun 20, 2024 – 01:14:29
  • 77. WHATADO: Flaky Friends + The Lie We Tell About Work/Life Balance
    Jun 13, 2024 – 01:12:28
  • 76. Not for Chafing + Perfectionism is Making Your Relationship Harder
    Jun 6, 2024 – 01:10:16
  • 75. Not for Cocktail Parties + How to Stop Micromanaging Everyone in Your Life
    May 30, 2024 – 01:08:42
  • 74. Not for Enabling Negative People + An In-Depth Recap of Our Trip to LA
    May 23, 2024 – 01:15:15
  • 73. Beauty Hot Takes + Reframing Your Professional Path with YouTuber Alexandra Anele
    May 16, 2024 – 01:29:06
  • 72. Not for Unspoken Expectations + How to Hack Your Mood Swings
    May 9, 2024 – 01:04:14
  • 71. Hater Hour: Interrogating My Boyfriend + Career Fulfillment and Dating Crimes
    May 2, 2024 – 01:22:39
  • 70. Jess Thots: Defining Creativity + Living Up to Family Expectations
    Apr 25, 2024 – 00:56:30
  • 69. IYKYK: All Your Sex Fantasies Revealed + Making Dating Apps Work for You
    Apr 18, 2024 – 01:30:10
Recent Reviews
  • Kunj Goenka
    Good forearms
    Was told not to subscribe. Subscribed anyway.
  • zoomingzoe
    What a freaking gem 💎
    This is the most relatable, genuine podcast you will ever find with authentic conversation flowing between Caroline and Jess. I never know what random topics they will bring up, but I do know that I always finish an episode in a better, sillier mood after listening to the Queens of the Cooks. Their pod truly embodies how being vulnerable is attractive and allows for meaningful connection, which inspires all of us listeners to do the same in our lives ❤️
  • mcguirestudios
    New obsession
    Literally obsessed! Came over from Caroline’s YouTube as a recent follower, and now this show is my commute buddy and I’ve started all the way back at the beginning bc I need to not miss anything! Y’all are so fun and the perfect mix of shallow and deep talk which my brain needs. Xoxo! -a hater
  • Tobi 🙃
    My favorite podcast 🫶🏻
    Caroline & Jess are like my two mood insightful friends. I always gain some peace of advice from these episodes & it always comes w a giggle or two. Most definitely worth every listen 🫶🏻
  • hotchocolady
    Kook University
    Professor DeBakey and Professor Winkler are my favorite teachers I’ve ever had.
  • TriangleDogg
    I love this podcast
    Caroline and Jess are the best case scenario for female friendships ❤️❤️ Thanks for letting me have lunch with you!
  • a_bird
    Caroline asked me to…
    …so I’m leaving a review. I adore these ladies. They make me genuinely laugh out loud and I’ve taken so much of their advice to heart. Thank you for a podcast that’s vulnerable, relevant, and genuinely funny!!
  • raspberryh
    I can’t get enough of this podcast!
    I’m obsessed! I love this podcast because Jess and Caroline talk about things that I am sometimes too shy to talk about with my own friends. They feel like big sisters to me. And they make me realize that I shouldn’t be insecure about things that I have worried about my whole life. I’ve been more confident and given myself more grace since I’ve started listening to this podcast. Thank you Jess and Caroline, for all the advice and for making me laugh. You two make this world a better place.
  • CudLove
    Love
    I want to rant and scream with Caroline and cry and be comforted by Jess. Great dynamic.
  • RachaelR🖤
    The best
    These women are both halves of my personality and I love it. This podcast gives me comfort and so much laughter because it is basically the same level of conversation between me and my best friend at any and all given times. I find myself answering things out loud with my opinion, and then one of these ladies saying the same thing moments later 😂 I relate to Jess as an ENFJ and a lover and caretaker of others, and have also been labeled a hater for my negativity outlandish annoyances with the world around me like Caroline. Love this podcast, hope it never ends !🖤
  • elaine0928
    Great friendship vibes
    Love this podcast because it’s more deep thoughts with Caroline! I’m 100% a hater and I’m here for the judgment.
  • KiwiKimchiKetchup
    The podcast I look forward to
    I’ve been a listener since day one because I’m a subscriber to Caroline’s YouTube channel and she talked about her podcast. You guys do not disappoint! The two of you have great chemistry, Your topics are so interesting, and you guys are so real. I’m a big fan of podcasts for my early morning walks and yours is the podcast I look for first! Keep up the great work! Oh! And I think you guys should do some old-school glam headshots playing up your gorgeous hair! Both of you! Look forward to maybe seeing that! Tara
  • fathamajuii
    I should be in bed but writing a review for Caroline and Jess
    Hi Ladies, I have listened to every single podcast! I seem to always come away with a brighter mood and have smiled/laughed at least once during each episode. Caroline requested that we leave a compliment about ourselves in the review so here is mine: I have started my own personal training business last year and despite the many challenges of growing a new business - I am learning to become resilient to failure and keeping my head up. Review for podcast: I love the friendship between the two of you. It’s so endearing to hear you guys support each other in your day to day struggles. I also love how you guys can laugh together and problem solve as a team. You two are role models of what a good friendship entails. My favorite thing about the podcast is when you guys talk about “personal growth” and your own experience with the subject. I love the mix of the topics that create an awareness on how we can be better friends, partners, and a person as whole. The light hearted nature of the conversation pulls it together and makes it something I look forward to listening to. You ladies are great! -Fathama (pronounced Fa-tea-ma).
  • rascal9804
    #667
    Anything for my girls! ❤️
  • Momo_G19
    A Podcast That Actually Feels Relatable
    I have been a listener from the very beginning and I look forward to listening to this show every week! Caroline & Jess are long time friends who have great chemistry and support for each other and it’s refreshing to hear two friends talk about the good, bad, and the ugly we all experience in life. As someone who is almost 30, It has validated me in a lot of ways and I love that they address topics that actually feel relatable. Much love from Chicago ❤️
  • kkuhn97
    Fav podcast!
    I listen to this show all of the time and I absolutely love it. Jess and Caroline are so down to earth, funny, and smart. Listening to an old episode is my favorite way to relax after a long day. Thank you for the quirky entertainment and for leaving such a positive impact on your listeners.
  • zie211
    Girl talk 💅🏼
    Imagine you’re at a sleepover with your best friend, but you’re adults and you’ve both been through extensive therapy 💕✨
  • lasamantita
    Good minus the cringey mainstream consumerist culture stuff
    My hot take is Caroline is the lover and Jess is the secret hater. Caroline has done inner work including revealing some hard stuff from her past which makes her authentic and sweet. Jess should reveal her inner hater but has to be the understanding, even-keeled one on the pod. I still like the pod minus the cringey, mainstream Harris-Walz + Beyoncé references. Those topics are literally For Everyone which is why I don’t want to hear about them. Their other topics are pretty insightful.
  • Teddy is Tired
    Very Fun and Sincere
    I love listening to this podcast after my workouts while I’m doing chores. It feels like I’m hanging out with friends who are just chilling on the couch while I cook or clean. I’ve been tuning in for a few weeks now—having discovered it through Caroline’s YouTube channel—and it’s been such a comforting experience. I just finished listening to the episode "Not for Flirty Husbands" and wanted to share a book recommendation that has truly changed my life for the better: *Nonviolent Communication* by Marshall Rosenberg. My only regret is not having read it sooner. Anyway, I thought I’d pass along the book recommendation and express my gratitude.
  • cuzeke
    Love this podcast
    Love hearing the banter and advice from Jess and Caroline! Especially on relationship topics
  • adele89876578654
    Great podcast
    Don’t care for the food talk 😂
  • kecaro
    Hmmm
    I’m amending my review. Still observing.
  • Wazitooya456
    Yep
    The boobs make sense and I like to touch butts too, also y’all are really hot, I see you good posture 🔥
  • DaniShugs28
    Great show! Can we get more Abby?
    New listener here. Love this show! The recent conversation about feeling low self worth was incidentally surrounded by talk about time on Instagram. This tip may not be for everyone (see what I did?) but removing myself from Instagram bumped up my self worth and overall life contentment by approximately one thousand percent. Give it a shot! PS - Editor Abby (sorry if I spelled her name wrong) is delightful and funny.
  • DMC-01
    luv them 😘
    Ok love you both so much. And Jess I TOTALLY agree Beyoncé’s album Renaissance is literally her best album, please continue.
  • NinaGove
    ❤️
    I love them
  • torrid92
    3 Stars
    ⭐️⭐️⭐️
  • Kal_Avery
    <3
    I love my weekly hang with my parasocial besties.
  • Lizzielizardson
    The Best!!!!!!
    This is by far my favorite podcast. Smart, kind, hilarious women. So glad to have found these ladies. Take a listen - you won’t regret it.
  • Meghan Keane
    A new fave
    The best is when yall are discussing personal life or relationships or just hard stuff. It makes people feel instantly less alone. The therapy stuff is great too (what are we all working on). It’s lonely out here for those of us still sheltering from the ongoing covid pandemic bcz disabilities and (like me) at home yr 4 with long covid and podcasts that aren’t preachy but humane and earnest and caring are whats up. Thanks yall xx
  • ME.JI.HU.
    Great podcast
    I baby ….. enough say !!!
  • kari-listens-pods
    Chaotic, wholesome, thoughtful
    Wholesome but not saccharine, they keep it real, and are a joy to listen to, maybe because they are willing to be vulnerable and dig deeper into topics, hence “not for everyone”. Really appreciate the normalizing of topics surrounding personal relationships, work, and mental health, all balanced by lightweight girl talk and fun quips.
  • SSamantha1993
    I love it
    I crave podcasts that can make me laugh and prompt deep thinking about life and relationships in the same episode. I started listening at a pivotal moment in my 30’s, and the combination of Caroline and Jess’s silly and serious commentary was exactly what I needed. I ask all my friends if they listen to podcasts just so I can recommend this one. Just listen, you’ll love it too! ❤️
  • Piscean6
    C&J Make Life Feel Unfair AND Tolerable
    These two things can both be true at the same time. Life now seems unfair, because FAIR would be all of us living on different floors of an old brownstone somewhere. By “all of us” I mean Caroline, Jess, myself obvi, and the rest of the haters and lovers, the kooks and the winklies. Since this isn’t reality, life isn’t fair 🤷🏻‍♀️ The fact that these two exist, and show up for us every week, makes this unfair reality tolerable. I be consuming alllllll their word nuggets like Miss Pac-Man. If they went away, I would not accept.
  • Nab005
    Daddies, babies, kingzzzzz
    Don’t throw away my money. 5 stars. Big love. Do whatever you want. If you’re healed I’m healed. Fellow Renaissance fiend. A manic review fit for my fave pod. Keep it up, Kings. Xx.
  • Micnkcb
    Listening to it all
    I may not agree or align with the conversations at all times but I am sure listening to everything these ladies are putting out! I started going to therapy a year ago and I have found their frank conversations on mental health and personal challenges refreshing and relatable. Also, I laugh out loud every time I listen, which is uncommon for me. Thanks for entertaining me and helping us all feel less alone ❤️
  • Buffyogachik
    🥰
    I know a podcast is good if I can listen to it while I’m driving. I know it’s incredible if I find myself craving it for 5 am drives to work, when I’m usually as ornery as it gets. I honestly love that the episodes aren’t themed - they hop from topic to topic, and all of them are super relevant. I use this podcast to get myself to stop thinking about work on my evening commute and it’s pretty much the only thing that has worked.
  • rrrachel93
    Meh
    Good perspectives I guess but just a lot of opinions rambling and nothing too revolutionary. Nothing wrong w it but no compelling reasons to use my time listening to it. I get the same seeing my girlfriends for cocktail hour, and have more fun doing it
  • Hilary Elizabeth
    Weirdos in the best way? Yes sir!
    Why did it take me sooo long to listen?! No clue. But! As a fellow weirdo, they are so weird…and I relate to all of it. Listening to the podcast about negative people and their la trip. Gold. Their banter on making up songs about everything was so cute. I’ve made raps about both my sons and nieces. My second born now tries to sing along to his… proud. Glad to find others do the same. Honestly they could be making me hopefully for fun strange friendships in my 30s mom era. Love that. They keep it silly, but then talk about real communication between friends. Really helped me see how I’d love for communication between friends can be. Again. Love that. Keep up the great work. Happy to finally listen!
  • ClaireMarie96
    New perspectives wrapped in a silly goofy time
    I downloaded the friggin Apple podcast app to leave a little well deserved love note. Here are two things that gave my brain the serotonin to get through Thursday which is arguably the hardest day of the week. - Anytime Caroline says “DuH DuH” - One time when Jess said “SQUARDLE”. I love podcasts that are veering away from the “traditional” way of speaking mainly on one topic, and going towards just whatever is on their mind. It may sound counterintuitive, but trust me when I say it creates significantly more authentic “hot takes” that I actually walk away from thinking about later that day. Love you ladies oxox
  • haterfosho
    Mr. Rogers in Podcast Form
    I wear full length pajamas and I listen to Jess and Caroline for hours at a time. That says a lot. And nothing. This pod is funny, insightful, and a joy to listen to. I feel like we live in the same neighborhood and we’re all welcome as we are. In a sense, we all do live in the same neighborhood online and Jess and Caroline to me are ambassadors for human connection. They discuss a plethora of topics and they bridge the gap between old ideas and new ideas very elegantly. It’s refreshing to hear and be a part of frank discussions about stuff society deems taboo. The lover hater dynamic works very well for them yet they share an ever-present positive attitude that highlights how different people can get along and even be good friends. So they like short pjs and I like long pjs and we could definitely be friends. I’ve only listened to half the episodes so far, so please excuse me as I binge another 4 hours in attempt to catch up.
  • skeletonsneeze
    Love y’all
    A bunch of sweeties. I love this show!!! :P Came here from Caroline’s youtube and i’m so glad I did. The latest Hater Hour with Justin was a treat and it kinda healed my soul a little??? It’s a lil sad and bizarre how rare it felt to hear such a thoughtful/kind relationship dynamic between two personable and intelligent people in action. But it gave me back some hope, so a genuine thanks is in order. Have him on again and again!!!
  • Eeemohlee
    My Favorite Kooks
    These two are the perfect pair and never fail to make me laugh. I appreciate their authenticity, silliness, and the care they have for each other. This is one of the few podcasts I listen to where I find myself wanting to respond back to them to try to join in on the convo. It gives me hanging out with your besties for a sleepover kind of vibes and I’m here for it. All the stars for these two kings!
  • Giraffe 24601
    My Favorite Part of Thursday
    I cannot get enough of this podcast! Love you ladies.
  • _anna2
    Risking my life writing this review
    I started watching Caroline’s YouTube videos a few years ago and knew she had started a podcast with Jess but never got around to listening until recently and now it’s all listen to while I’m at work. I look a fool while I laugh to myself but feel like I’m Laughing with friends. Unrelated note: Caroline’s Santa fantasy’s made me start listening to a erotic podcasts and I don’t know what else to say about that but I thought it would give you guys a laugh because I know you guys love reading these reviews.
  • ekong7
    Like the wise older sisters I’ve never had
    This is one of the only podcasts that I listen to consistently. Jess and Caroline are very entertaining to listen to and the podcast ranges from very silly to very deep. They have shared so many deep insights that have truly impacted the way I view and live my life. So glad you guys created this podcast :)
  • Dill1Dom2
    A nice space in my head
    Me and my friend are peace corps volunteers in Uganda right now, and as one might expect, it gets pretty lonely sometimes. That said, she told me about your podcast with the exuberance of someone who’d just won a Grammy: “you have to listen to this show; I’ve literally listed to six episodes in a row.” I trust her, so I did. Anyway, it’s been so good to listen to you both think out loud and navigate things. It makes things less lonely for me. It just makes me feel like I’m back home at a friend’s house. It makes for a nice space in my head. Anyway, have a wonderful day and keep up the great convos :) Warmest regards,
  • akcummings93
    5 stars only
    i will fight anyone who gives Jess and Caroline less than 5 stars. high quality comedy and science mixed together. i get super sad when i remember they aren’t my real life besties. never change ✌️
  • Ditnes
    Bell Pepper Serendipity
    I finally made my way to the podcast from Caroline’s YouTube channel and I’m so very glad I did! I listened last weekend while I was doing some cleaning and cooking and really was like hanging out with friends without the pressure of actually having to be social which my introvert self loved. One moment that really just made the experience for me was that at the exact second Jess starting talking about her pet peeve about videos that have bell pepper cutting hacks, I had just picked up a bell pepper to cut up and sauté for my meal prep! I’m not a big believer in signs, but if there was ever a sign that I was listening to the right podcast, I think that was it (kinda kidding not really 😂). Thanks for such a lovely listening experience can’t wait to listen some more 🩷
  • hellodarian
    Like having cool friends
    💓🎀🎉
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